Ghost

20. No Joint Facebook Accounts

Really? REALLY?

There are couples that share a Facebook account? 

This is more married couples, I guess, but REALLY?

I saw one, and I was in awe.

Before, I had only heard of them in myth, but they do in fact exist.

So, when you’re married, you’re no longer separate beings? You are one entity?

I’m not a fan of the whole, one person completing you thing.

I believe we’re all whole, and the people we love are embellishments. I don’t mean to say they’re accessories, just that they make us into something else. Something a bit more. It’s not completing, it’s adding to.

As a couple, I doubt you have ALL the same friends, all the same interests. A joint Facebook account seems like “I don’t trust my husband not to flirt with his old girlfriends on Facebook, so now we share a password”

Maybe that’s just me.

But if this were you, well YOU’D be writing this, now wouldn’t you?

19. No Facebook Hacking

Oh, he left his Facebook on? Don’t be a fucking idiot. Kindly log him off.

There is NO need for: 
“I love my girlfriend” 
“My girlfriend is so pretty”
Or any of that insecure, boasty shit.

It’s not cute, it’s stupid. 

Make a deal with a friend. Have them slap you if you ever do it. Slap you hard.

Make sure it leaves a mark.

So you remember that it’s not cute. Just really. Really. Dumb.

18. No “X amount of things you should know about Girls / Guys” Lists

For example:

“Pick her up like in the Notebook and kiss her” “Sit on top of her and tell her how much you lover her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her” “take her for long walks at night” ”call or text her every night to wish her sweet dreams” and so on.

We’ve all seen them, we’ve all read them. And they’re great… if you’re a disney princess.

These are not RULES for your relationship, you don’t live in a fairytale and he is definitely not going to abide by ALL of them. Accept that he’s a sweetheart in his own way, not in the way you expect him to be.

11. No On Again / Off Again Bull

There are very simple guidelines to keeping this in check

  • You are afforded one break up and get back together
  • One more is allowed after a period of growth. We recommend a year +

Just like the Facebook relationship status couple, no one likes the on and off again couple. They annoy us.

4. No Facebook Relationship Drama

We all know that couple who takes up the entirety of our news feed. And we all hate them. No one wants to be that couple, so we’ve come up with a list of BIG no nos. It includes, but is not limited to:

  • No ‘it’s complicated.’ You’re either in a relationship or you’re not. Deal with it.
  • No loving / heart broken lyrics to express how you feel. More than half the people on your friends list DON’T CARE. If you need to talk about it, talk to your closest girlfriends. Don’t share it with the entire internet. You’re just pissing everybody off. Honestly, no lyrics in general.. They annoy us.
  • No heartbroken messages. We get it. You broke up, it’s sad. But you’re making the rest of us feel bad for enjoying life!
  • No “I <3 u” “I love you” “I luv you” or any other variation of it. Anything you wouldn’t say to / infront of everybody on your friends list, don’t post as your status. No one need to know how ‘in love’ you are.
  • Finally, constant relationship status changes. “Jane is single” “Jane is in a relationship.” “Jane is single” “Jane is in a complicated relationship” Jane. STFU.

Got more to add? We’d love to hear about it!

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