The Girlfriend Code

20. No Joint Facebook Accounts

Really? REALLY?

There are couples that share a Facebook account? 

This is more married couples, I guess, but REALLY?

I saw one, and I was in awe.

Before, I had only heard of them in myth, but they do in fact exist.

So, when you’re married, you’re no longer separate beings? You are one entity?

I’m not a fan of the whole, one person completing you thing.

I believe we’re all whole, and the people we love are embellishments. I don’t mean to say they’re accessories, just that they make us into something else. Something a bit more. It’s not completing, it’s adding to.

As a couple, I doubt you have ALL the same friends, all the same interests. A joint Facebook account seems like “I don’t trust my husband not to flirt with his old girlfriends on Facebook, so now we share a password”

Maybe that’s just me.

But if this were you, well YOU’D be writing this, now wouldn’t you?

19. No Facebook Hacking

Oh, he left his Facebook on? Don’t be a fucking idiot. Kindly log him off.

There is NO need for: 
“I love my girlfriend” 
“My girlfriend is so pretty”
Or any of that insecure, boasty shit.

It’s not cute, it’s stupid. 

Make a deal with a friend. Have them slap you if you ever do it. Slap you hard.

Make sure it leaves a mark.

So you remember that it’s not cute. Just really. Really. Dumb.

18. No “X amount of things you should know about Girls / Guys” Lists

For example:

“Pick her up like in the Notebook and kiss her” “Sit on top of her and tell her how much you lover her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her” “take her for long walks at night” ”call or text her every night to wish her sweet dreams” and so on.

We’ve all seen them, we’ve all read them. And they’re great… if you’re a disney princess.

These are not RULES for your relationship, you don’t live in a fairytale and he is definitely not going to abide by ALL of them. Accept that he’s a sweetheart in his own way, not in the way you expect him to be.

17. You are NOT Dating Yet!

No assuming that you’re boyfriend and girlfriend after one date. Even if you’ve kissed. We don’t care if it was magical, unless you’ve discussed it, or both inferred that this is an exclusive relationship between the two of you, you are merely seeing each other. Testing the waters to see if you mesh, not immediately and indefinitely attached to one another. If you really want to have that exclusive relationship, but are unsure of what you are, you’re going to have to have ‘the talk’, no matter how painful it may be.

16. No Bitching Without Purpose

If you’re having a talk or argument, talk about the problem. Don’t go throwing his hygiene in there, or cussing to make your point, because it won’t work. Have an end that you would like to work towards, and focus on that, or nothing will be solved and you’ve just wasted each other’s time.

15. No Magazine Quizzes

We’ve all taken at least one or two, but avoid taking the ‘relationship health’ ones. Even if you’re joking, you may not like the answer you get. Every relationship is different, so it’s not like they can really generalise. If you have to, HAVE to take the quiz, don’t tell him the results. He doesn’t believe in the mumbo jumbo of Cosmo and neither should you.

14. No Acting Mad When He Doesn’t Know What He Did

Cut the guy a break. He doesn’t know what he did to piss you off, and he’s not going to figure it out from you giving him the silent treatment. Be a big girl, and tell him what’s wrong. No one wants to date a 5 year old brat.

13. No Talking About Your Exes

You hate it when he mentions his, so why mention yours? Especially early on. We’ve all done it, and felt guilty after.

Look, no guy wants your baggage, so leave it at the door. At least for a while, anyways.

12. * No Ditching Friends for Boys

This, ladies, is the Golden Rule we should all live by.

There are exceptions, like you’ve know him longer than you have the girls, but for the most part, it’s in bad taste to ditch your girls for your guy. We all know it. Most of these rules we already know, we just never listen. We can’t help it. It’s practically instinct to make relationship fools of ourselves, but if you are going to break every rule on this list but one, make this your one. Because as the saying goes, hos before bros.

11. No On Again / Off Again Bull

There are very simple guidelines to keeping this in check

• You are afforded one break up and get back together
• One more is allowed after a period of growth. We recommend a year +

Just like the Facebook relationship status couple, no one likes the on and off again couple. They annoy us.