Oh, he left his Facebook on? Don’t be a fucking idiot. Kindly log him off.
There is NO need for:
“I love my girlfriend”
“My girlfriend is so pretty”
Or any of that insecure, boasty shit.
It’s not cute, it’s stupid.
Make a deal with a friend. Have them slap you if you ever do it. Slap you hard.
Make sure it leaves a mark.
So you remember that it’s not cute. Just really. Really. Dumb.
No assuming that you’re boyfriend and girlfriend after one date. Even if you’ve kissed. We don’t care if it was magical, unless you’ve discussed it, or both inferred that this is an exclusive relationship between the two of you, you are merely seeing each other. Testing the waters to see if you mesh, not immediately and indefinitely attached to one another. If you really want to have that exclusive relationship, but are unsure of what you are, you’re going to have to have ‘the talk’, no matter how painful it may be.
If he doesn’t want it repeated to the girlfriends, respect him for it. We hear girls complain constantly about boys and their ‘locker’ talk when girls are just as bad. As desperately as you want to report back to the group, if he asks you to keep it on the down low, keep your mouth shut. Same goes for what your girlfriends tell you. It’s not your place to tell the boyfriend all your friends’ dirty little secrets.
On the other hand, if he doesn’t say keep it quiet, it is fair game! However, you might want to make that clear to him.
In regards to the previous rule, just because you can look, doesn’t mean you need to rub it in. We know, we know. It feels so good when he thinks every other guy that grabs your attention is a potential threat, but it’s not like it’s a feeling they like. Yeah, you can off-handedly mention how super hot Christian Ronaldo looked in those soccer (or football depending where you’re from) shorts last night, but don’t linger on it. You wouldn’t like it if he was trying to make you jealous.
You’ve all done it.
“Am I fat?” “Do you think she’s prettier than me?”
Ok, obviously you’re a bit insecure about it. So why ask? I made the mistake of asking one guy I was dating if he thought I was beautiful. His response? “I like.. parts of you.” Needless to say, the relationship was over a few hours later.
Look, either you’re gorgeous and you know it and you don’t need to hear it but he’ll say it anyways to appease you, he’ll lie, or he’ll be honest and say that yes. Yes those jeans make you look like a hippo stuffed in a tight place.
All guys I know think it’s annoying. They like to be able to just compliment you out of the blue, not have it wrenched out of them whenever you feel like it.
You all know what we’re talking about.
“You hang up.” “No you hang up.”
“I love you.” “I love you more”
Puke
Please, for the well being of all of us, just don’t.
Go ahead, congratulate yourselves, high five at 6 months, but no presents. It’s silly and unnecessary.
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